Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
