it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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