So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
