then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
