I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Randomize
