i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
