Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
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