My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
