Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
