Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
