I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
