Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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