he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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