got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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