Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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