I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
