didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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