So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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