Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Randomize