Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
