He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
