im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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