just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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