I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
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