I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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