Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Randomize
