You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
