Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Randomize
