That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
