you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
