Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
We need to get me chipped asap
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
