Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
