Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
