We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
