We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
