mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
