I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
