If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
