I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
