i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
