I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
