Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
