her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
