to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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