My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
