We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
