Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You ruined the universe
Randomize
