oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
