He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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