Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
