i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
