smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
