Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
