We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
